Ramayana Told by US Kid

A young second generation Indian in the US was asked by his mother to explain the significance of "Diwali" to his younger brother, this ishow he went about it...
" So, like this dude had, like, a big cool kingdom and people liked him. But, like, his step-mom, or something, was kind of a bitch, and she forced her husband to, like, send this cool-dude, he was Ram, tosome national forest or something... Since he was going, for like, something like more than 10 years or so... he decided to get his wife and his bro along... you know...so that they could all chill outtogether. But Dude, the forest was reeeeal scary shit... really man...they had monkeys and devils and shit like that. But this dude, Ram, kicked with darts and bows and arrows... so it was fine.
But then some bad gangsta boys, some jerk called Ravan, picks up his babe (Sita) and lures her away to his hood. And boy, was our man, and also his bro, Laxman, pissed... all the gods were with him... Soanyways, you don't mess with gods. So, Ram, and his bro get an army of monkeys... Dude, don't ask me how they trained the damn monkeys... just go along with me, ok...
So, Ram, Lax and their monkeys whip this gangsta's ass in his own hood... Anyways, by this time, their time's up in the forest... and anyways... it gets kinda boring, you know... no TV or malls or shitlike that. So,they decided to hitch a ride back home... and when the people realize that our dude, his bro and the wife are back home... they thought, well, you know, at least they deserve something nice...and they didn't have any bars or clubs in those days... so they couldn't take them out for a drink, so they, like, decided to smoke and shit... and since they also had some lamps, they lit the lampsalso...so it was pretty cooool... you know with all those fireworks.... Really, they even had some local band play along with the fireworks... and you know, what, dude, that was the very first, nokidding.., thatwas the very first music-synchronized fireworks... you know, like the 4th of July stuff, but just, more cooler and stuff, youknow. And, so dude,that was how, like, this festival started."
The mother fainted..

Be Careful when eating apples

Be Careful when eating apples Please don't eat the skin of the apple because it's coated with wax. Check before you eat many of the fruits. WAX is being used for preservation purposes and cold storage. You might be surprised especially apples from USA and other parts are more than one year old, though it would look fresh. B'coz wax is coated, preventing bacteria to enter. So it does not get dry. Please Eat Apples after removing the wax as demonstrated below. Please follow this and let know others...........

Hope it will be of benefit to you & others.

Love Vs Marriage

Love is holding hands in the street.

Marriage is holding arguments in the street.

Love is dinner for 2 in your favorite restaurant.

Marriage is a take home packet.

Love is cuddling on a sofa.

Marriage is one of them sleeping on a sofa.

Love is talking about having children.

Marriage is talking about getting away from children.

Love is going to bed early.

Marriage is going to sleep early.

Love is a romantic drive.

Marriage is arrive on tops curvy tarmac.

Love is losing your appetite.

Marriage is losing your figure.

Love is sweet nothing in the ear.

Marriage is sweet nothing in the bank.

Tv has no place in love.

Marriage is a fight for remote control.

Love is 1 drink and 2 straws.

Marriage is “Don’t you think you’ve had enough!”

Conclusion: “Love is blind , Marriage is an eye opener!” 

Bommarillu

dTime: 06 .30 p m
Date : 8 th June 2007
Place: Conference Room.
In his meeting with his Project Leader after a long time, Balu explodes ......
Antha meere cheesaru... Motham meere cheesaru....Chalu Sir... vachinnapadinunchi meeru naacheta cheyinchindi chalu, nenu kolpoindi chalu, inka oddu please....
Sir asks what did you lost ???
Inka ardam kaaleda meeku. Ee COMPANY ki ochhinappudu naa deggara emundo, velipoyetappudu emiledho ade Sir nenu kolipoindi- Programming skills. Chinna chinna skills kuda kolipoyanu Sir meevalla.
Meereppudu mee team cheta goppa project cheyinchali, R&D work cheyinchalani alochistharu. Kaani nakem vachoo, nenemi cheyyagalanoo meeru thelusukooru.
Then Sir tells that he thinks 1000 times before giving any work !!!
Avunu.... 1000 saarlu client requirements satisfy ayyaya ani alochisthaare tappa, oka saari ayina nenu adi chayyagalanaa ani alochinchhara. cheyyagaligina danikanna ekkuva work ivvadamlo satisfaction meeku telusu, kaani ichina work avvakapothe andhulo unde baadha meeku thelidu- naaku thelusu.
Asalu naatho maatladithega theliseedi nenemi chestunnanoo. Edaina problem unte team lo vunna migilina vaallani pilichi maatlaaduthaaru. Naatho maatladandi Sir. Na work choosi cheppandi Sir. Friendly ga undandi Sir.
Then Sir tells that he is the one who usually tells to be friendly
Chepputhaaru , kani undaru. Endukante antha meeku nachhinatte jaragalikada.
Cheyyalsina Language meere select chesthaaru, meere super antaru, kani adi work out avutundoo ledoo kooda choodakundane meeru nanne convince chesesthaaru. Naku ela untundo telusa- idi raadu... nenu cheyyalenu ani aravalani anipistundi.
USE CASES cheyyamantaru. Nenu chestanu. Kaani cheselope LLD ki marchestaru. Navvuthunnru Sir naa project choosi maa freinds.
Hey Balu...., sample program cheyyamantaru. Nenedoo code raastaanu. Meermoo CODING STANDARDS follow avvu.... COMMENTS rayyi.....FUNCTIONS RAYATAM try cheyyi.... ani roju naa chutto tirugutoo arustoo vuntaru.
Nenelaa code rayaloo kooda meere decide chesesthe... nenu enduku Sir program raayadam.... Chivariki program elaa debug cheyyaaloo kooda meere cheppestunte. .. Complie kavatam ledu Sir.
Meeku teleedu. meeru cheppindi cheyyalekaa, naaku vachhindi cheppaleeka, narakam choosanu Sir... narakam.
Frustration, kopam, chiraaku. Evarimeedha choopinchaalo, ela choopinchaalo kooda theliyakapothe chivariki oka rooju Swagat meeda kooda arichesaanu. Daanitho Swagat naatho matladatham manesadu……. Asalu nenendhuku ala unnano Swagat ke ardam kakapothe inka meekela telustundi Sir.
Ippudu neenemi cheyali Sir. BUGS FIX cheyyali..anthe kadaa. Chestanu Sir. Kaani ippatidaaka nenu chesinaa UI DESIGNING... .PROGRAMMING …. evemi work out kaaledu Sir. Kaani ippudu chestunna Singapore project kachitam gaa Reuslt ravali. kaani edo oka roju adi kooda raadu ani telisipotundi kadaa. Appudu naa project spoil ayyindi ani meere badhapadataru.
Inthavaraku meeroka guide gaa gelichaanu anukuntunaaru kadaa ???. Kaani mimmalni gelipinchadaaniki rendu yellaga neenu odipothoone unnanu.
ilaage oddipothu unthe, year ending lo entra naa project ani chooste andulo emi vundadu. Innallu nenu project cheyyatledu sir, chestunnattu act chesanu, ika mundu kooda alage untanu.
Kaani naado request sir... nenu cheyyaleni work ichhesi nenedo cheseyyalani maathram korukovoddu sir, please….

Good One To Laugh

FOOLish man tells a woman to STOP talking, but a WISE man
tells her that she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.


One GOOD way to REDUCE Alcohol consumption:
Before Marriage - Drink whenever you are SAD,
After Marriage - Drink whenever you are HAPPY


Three FASTEST means of Communication:
1. Tele-Phone
2. Tele-Vision
3. Tell to Woman
Need still FASTER - Tell her NOT to tell ANY ONE.


Love your friends not their sisters. Love your sisters not their
Friends.


A man got 2 wishes from GOD. He asked for the Best wine and Best
Woman.
Next moment, he had the Best Wine and Mother Teresa next to him.
Moral: BE SPECIFIC



What is a BEST and WORST news you can hear at the SAME time?
It is when your Girl Friend says YOU are the BEST KISSER among all your
Friends.